Bear in mind that there are diverse reasons why people can't or don't want to do small talk. For me, it's exhausting, boring, and actively counterproductive. The alleged reason is to get to know people, but since it is supposed to be devoid of meaningful information, it just makes me want to leave, which is the opposite of helpful in connecting with people.
I prefer the kind of interest-based introductory talk, and I've actually been at an event where everyone did that -- it was a nature group meeting, and went like this: "Hi, my name is X, and my yard/farm is like Y." If there was no match, you split up to look for a match elsewhere; if you found common ground then you chatted about it for a while before looping the room again. That was fun. Regrettably it is not the way most people like to socialize. But if I pretended to like small talk, that would generate false matches, which is also not helpful.
>> let's talk about hobbies.<<
I've been featuring one hobby per week as my Thursday post.
>>Hobby spaces are good because even if you don’t hit it off with people at first, you are still getting out of the house and getting to do a thing you like.<<
Some people find it much easier to interact with others when they all have something to do, not just stare at each other and make words. In this regard, volunteering is another good option.
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timeasmymeasure
Thoughts
Date: 2024-10-29 02:13 am (UTC)Bear in mind that there are diverse reasons why people can't or don't want to do small talk. For me, it's exhausting, boring, and actively counterproductive. The alleged reason is to get to know people, but since it is supposed to be devoid of meaningful information, it just makes me want to leave, which is the opposite of helpful in connecting with people.
I prefer the kind of interest-based introductory talk, and I've actually been at an event where everyone did that -- it was a nature group meeting, and went like this: "Hi, my name is X, and my yard/farm is like Y." If there was no match, you split up to look for a match elsewhere; if you found common ground then you chatted about it for a while before looping the room again. That was fun. Regrettably it is not the way most people like to socialize. But if I pretended to like small talk, that would generate false matches, which is also not helpful.
>> let's talk about hobbies.<<
I've been featuring one hobby per week as my Thursday post.
>>Hobby spaces are good because even if you don’t hit it off with people at first, you are still getting out of the house and getting to do a thing you like.<<
Some people find it much easier to interact with others when they all have something to do, not just stare at each other and make words. In this regard, volunteering is another good option.