Alas, bodies

[dismallyoriented]

 

Feels bad having to cw for menstruation when it's like. Just a normal bodily process and I think one that society could do more to talk about regularly. But yknow, I wanna be mindful about the ways other people's dysphoria manifests.

Anyway I think I may have cursed myself. On Wednesday I went to Planned Parenthood for an HRT checkup, and told them my period had stopped entirely, between both T and my nexplanon implant. Then yesterday I ended up having an extended talk with some younger queer folks about tampons and menstruation and dysphoria relating to sex & uteruses.

And then. This morning. Blood on the toilet paper and cramping in my abs. Thanks body. Doing me a real solid here, ha.

I'll be alright but it's always a bit of a dysphoric bummer when it recurs unexpectedly. I'm hoping it'll stay gone for the most part, especially after it was gone for about 6 weeks before? I should probably actually go back to tracking my cycle, to see when it happens and know for sure how much time has elapsed. Deleted all my previous tracked data from the app I used when Roe v Wade got overturned, cuz I was in Alabama at the time. But it probably won't kill me to pick it up again, here and now in Virginia.

The scientist in me is sad for the loss of data. But keeping track of all of it doesn't really affect me in my life now. Maybe trying to eliminate my period will finally push me onto injections. We shall see.

Comments

[onlyknownothing]

I'm sorry. I do know that dysphoria is not inherently a logical thing, and thus cannot be overcome via logical counter-argument... but if it helps, know that men do have a hormone cycle and it has some similar presentation. The science is still being developed, and there is presently a lot of controversy about it (not the least of which is that they're currently calling symptoms of it "Irritable Male Syndrome," which generates knee-jerk responses) - it's a general part of the body's rhythmic fluctuations. Here is an article about it, in case it helps any.

As someone who actually takes testosterone injections, the worst part of it is that the best location to get them is someplace you can't give yourself. I've given myself the shot in my leg once, but it's more unpleasant for a few days than the primarily-recommended back-of-hip injection site. There's a greater soreness because it's injected in the muscle and the thigh works more. If you have somebody who can give them to you, it's not really bad at all. Slight sting in the moment, gone quickly. 🤷

Sorry about the rough moment. It will pass, at least. One recommendation, just... because of the bullshit times we live in. Use something that isn't connected to a database. I did some searching, and apparently Drip is open-source and stores all data locally. You could also just legitimately use a paper calendar, if you wanted, or a not-cloud-based spreadsheet program. It's stupid and I hate it, but better safe than subpoenaed. 😑